Officer: “Sir? Were you drinking tonight?”
Man: “Why yes, officer - why do you ask?”
Officer: “Well, you’re in the middle of the road playing with Hot Wheels…”
Man: “Well let’s be glad I wasn’t speeding.”
Officer: “But you aren’t driving.”
Man: “Oh, really now? Then why did I just drive off this bridge? VROOM VROOM SCREECH BOOM! AHH AHH! I’m on fire!”
Officer: “Sir… Sir… You’re not on fire.”
Man: “AHHH!”